Pictured: Zombie John McCain
When I was on the Alan Colmes radio show a couple of months ago, a caller asked me if the US was ready for a zombie president. I, of course, answered that America was not ready for a zombie president, but that America required a zombie be its next president, and that no other alternative was acceptable.
The dignity of comportment. The resolute commitment to put country and eating people’s brain’s first. The complete and total lack of a need to release one’s health records. A zombie president would bring all of these qualities and more to the Oval Office!
Today I learned of a website that has provided the zombie-minded voter with an option. To wit, ZombieJohnMcCain.com provides information about a zombie-version of the Republican candidate running for our nation’s highest office.
Now, with a Zombie John McCain entering the race, one wonders if a Zombie Barack Obama can be far behind. Consider the advantages of a Zombie Obama candidacy:
- While “regular” Barack Obama is criticised for proposing to “sit down” with dictators, Zombie Barack Obama would be able to “sit down to dinner” with dictators by eating them.
- A Zombie Barack Obama could use his brain-sniffing skills to find and eat Osama Bin Laden’s brain.
- “Regular” Barack Obama is accused of “hanging out with terrorists,” but a Zombie Barack Obama would only be accused of hanging out in graveyards, mausoleums, and abandoned shopping malls.
- When redneck bigots at John McCain rallies declaim “He’s an Arab” of Zombie Barack Obama, it’ll totally take the attention away from all the zombie-stuff, which could really work to his advantage.
- Also, Joe the Plumber? He’s getting eaten first.
3 Comments
October 16, 2008 at 7:56 pm
This “redneck” is writing in Zombie Reagan.
October 16, 2008 at 7:56 pm
[...] [via] addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecurio.co.uk%2F2008%2F10%2Fzombie-john-mccain%2F’; addthis_title = ‘Zombie+John+McCain’; addthis_pub = ”; [...]
October 18, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Why would you want a zombie president